Sunday, June 26, 2005

Advice To My 16 Year Old Self

1. don't drop band and chorus in order to take sociology and psychology. you will end up having to take them your freshman year at college anyway. not to mention that keith davie gave up his professional soccer career to teach high school history, which by default, means he's not that bright. oh, and he'll end up getting fired for sleeping with your good friend's 15 year old sister.

2. you're not ready to move to boston. even thought you're going to graduate #5 in your senior class and you're headed to northeastern to study medicine, you're just not ready. and you know in you heart and in your gut you want to be an artist. you've wanted to be an artist since you were 4 years old. DO NOT try to talk yourself into being a doctor just because your family wants you to be one. it will not work and you'll end up dropping out of NU and spending a miserable year taking classes at SUNY Oneonta. so save yourself the trouble. take a year off, get yourself together, decide what path you want to take, and then make DAMN SURE you apply to, get in to, and are able to pay for an education at Emerson. and if Emerson doesn't work out, i guess Endicott will do.

3. don't worry about the prom. when you're 16 you want to fit in and you really want to go. but trust me, it will end up sucking major ass. you and your two best friends will end up getting stood up, you'll have to eat dinner at that fancy restaurant just the three of you, and when you actually get to the prom, you're going to have the worst time because suddenly no one wants to talk to you. oh, and re think your design for a "cool" prom dress. this one just isn't working.

4. don't work so hard on wanting people to like you. they either will or they won't. don't compromise your intelligence just because the two girls you call "best friends" think you'd be cooler if you weren't such a nerd. keep reading as much and as often as you can. have more self confidence and self esteem. love yourself more. don't be so insecure. be open to more opportunities. stand up for what you think is right, even if it's against popular opinion. oh, and get help for the anxiety you're suffering from NOW because it's only going to get worse once you move to boston.

5. you won't do well on your SATs. mom will make you take them two more times. the second time you take it you'll be hung over. the third time, you'll be anxious and nervous and forget to do most of it. it doesn't matter, so don't stress. why? because when you apply to all those universities and colleges they are going to be so happy that you were involved in all the extra curricular crap that they will ignore the fact that you only got a 990 on your SATs. so yes, being a member of Future Homemakers of America really WAS worth it.

6. don't start smoking. no explaination needed. you'll thank me.

7. tell your math teacher that no, you will NOT use geometry, algebra, or trig in your lifetime. she can go suck a fat one because as long as there are computers, you'll never need to know math.

8. learn now how to save money. because there will be times down the road where you have to decide if you're going to keep the lights on or eat. if you build yourself a savings, you will not have to worry. i'm telling you this 14 years in the future. if only i'd known how to save money back then, i'd be all set today.

9. get on the birth control. now.

10. stop pegging your jeans, get a better hair cut, get rid of those awful glasses, and stop wearing clothes that are two sizes too big! you have a pretty shapely body under all those clothes. take care of it or you'll wish you were still that size when you're quickly approaching 30. and no matter what people tell you, there IS a man out there who likes you for who you are. it will take a long time to find him, but trust me, it will be worth the wait.


halloweenlover said...

Excellent advice, HB.

I wish someone had given my 16 year old self loads of advice. Like don't take diet pills you idiot, you are a rail. Don't beat yourself up over stupid teenage boys. Love yourself more. Have faith in yourself more.

Being a teen is so hard. Shit, being a 26 year old is hard.

Honey Bunny said...

yes, i wouldn't want to relive my teen years for any money in the world. although i would, if i knew then what i knew now :)

and being almost-30 is pretty difficult, too! :)

halloweenlover said...

Hee hee! I love that you said you wouldn't leave a conversations about penises!!!

Honey Bunny said...

hahahah! it's true :) who can turn down a debate about the penis?


for those of you wondering what we're talking about, click here

fluffy said...

wow, posting your prom pic on a blog. now THAT takes balls. or ovaries, i guess in this case.

Honey Bunny said...

heh, should know me by now!

this picture is pretty embarassing, but seriously, what was i thinking back then? that dress is hideous!