Sunday, January 01, 2006

New Year's Day TeeVee Marathons

there are a billion and one marathons on television today. how am i supposed to choose? i can pick from the law & order marathon on bravo, the cheesy movie marathon on comedy central, the twilight zone marathon on the scifi channel, or the breakfast into lunch into iron chef marathon on the food network. those are just a few examples here, people. trust me, there are a ton more.

so i've decided to settle on the food network. actually, who am i kidding? i watch this channel 24 hours a day, or until phillip turns it to something else. right now there's an episode with bobby flay and his two helpers that's cracking me up. i dislike bobby flay A LOT. he's right up there on the annoying chart with mario batali and emeril. bobby flay thinks he's all that, but he's got man boobs! and he wears sweaters so you can see his little boobies poking through. it's scary.

the helper girls he has on this episode are probably 13 years old. the brunette with glasses hasn't said one word the whole episode. she just kind of stands there. but the blonde girl (whose name is Ruby. i smell a career as a stripper in her future) is TOTALLY on his jock, flirting like crazy. it's incredibly creepy to watch. her boobies are the same size as bobby's, and she keeps saying "hey bobby! look!" and then she squirts some stuff on a plate to spell out his name. Ewwwwwwww! i'm completely nauseated, but i can't change the channel or look away! HELP!

are there any self help books or recovery centers in MN where i can break my food network addiction? because i seriously need an intervention.


Kelly said...

We're into treatment here. I'm sure there's a 12-step for you somewhere, or Hazeldon has something.

.:mts:. said...

i'm also hopelessly addicted to the food network. if u find an effective 12-step program for this, please let me know! and i am in total agreement about emeril, mario batali, and bobby flay. can't stand them!

now, tyler florence? there's a man i can get behind. or in front of. or under. or above. you know, whatever.


nita said...

i think if you flip over to QVC you can buy some books....??!!