Friday, November 25, 2005

Post Thanksgiving Story

i know that i already mentioned how thankful i am for having phillip in my life, but after having a normal thanksgiving with him, i have to let everyone know how TRULY thankful i am that i'm married to him.

when i was with my ex, thanksgivings were awful. the thing about my ex is that he always claimed to be a non-conformist, yet he completely conformed to everything. he'd wear red on valentine's day, have to drink green beer on st. patty's day, etc. he even watched Julius Caesar on March 15th (more about that later). anyway, the one thing he didn't do was have a normal, family friendly thanksgiving meal like the rest of the normal people out there.

when we first met, he told me about his obsession with star wars and his unusual thanksgiving tradition. a tradition practiced by him and him only. he decided that he wasn't going to celebrate thanksgiving the "normal" way. you know, by eating turkey and all the fixin's. he would make his OWN dinner, which usually consisted of noodles, pizza, and a large amount of candy. the first year we were together we had thanksgiving at his mom's house. she was used to his obnoxious behavior, (and she was his pride an joy, so he could never do ANYTHING wrong in her eyes) so she let him make whatever he wanted to eat. i thought it was really weird and, to be honest, embarrassing. but hey, i was the guest in their house, so i kept my mouth shut.

the following year we switched off and had thanksgiving at my mom's house. i warned my very traditional, very strict family about his "anti-thanksgiving" thanksgiving meal. my mom said "that's crazy. he'll eat what i make." i tried to warn her that there's no swaying him, but she brushed it off. so when we sit down to eat, my ex makes a big production about his personal pan pizza he's made and the mound of peppermint patties surrounding it. my family was PISSED OFF and rightfully so. my mom felt like he was being disrespectful by not eating her dinner, and my grandparents, well, i don't think their stares could have been more deadly.

we ate our delicious turkey dinner as my ex scarfed down his pizza and candy. he's still a bit hungry and says "what's for dessert?" my mom stands up and says "sorry. we only have dessert for those who finished their turkey. and since you didn't eat any, you don't get any."

and she was serious. and my ex was aghast! he then got all pissed off that my mom wouldn't let him have any pie. but why should she? he decided to bring his own dinner to the Thanksgiving table, so he should have brought his own dessert. if i remember right, i think he just helped himself as my grandparents gave him the evil eye.

i knew they never liked him, but they made it clear at the rehearsal dinner. "he was a nutcase!" my grannie said. "we're glad you found an nice, normal man to marry. not that weirdo, whatshisface", my grandpa said. "i never liked him," said both mom and sister. "that guy was a dork!" said brother.

i couldn't agree more.

i love you, phillip. thank you for saving me from the scary non non-conformist with obsessive-compulsive behavior and a hairy back. ;)


fluffy said...

scariest halloween story EVER!...oh wait....

Honey Bunny said...

har har.