Sunday, October 08, 2006

Stay Out of My Business, Lady!

I caused a "scene" on the busride home tonight. I sat almost all the way in the back, hoping that no one would sit next to me. I seem to have caught Phillip's cold/flu/bug and have been miserable all day. I worked the whole day by myself, trying to stay sane with a fever and cough. Not to mention that I can't breathe out my nose at all. Doesn't make for a happy Bunny. So I just wanted to be alone and wallow in my sickness on the ride home.

Anyway, I'm sitting at the back of the bus, minding my own business, when I start to cough. I cover my mouth like I always do, as to not spread my germs. Well, a woman sitting about five seats in front of me obviously can't handle hearing people cough. She turns around and glares at me, her eyes burning holes into my face.

About 5 minutes went by and I coughed again. This was too much for Germ Lady. Here's what transpired next:

INT: #4 Bus traveling Northbound from DT Mpls to Bryant. Bus is filled with people of different backgrounds traveling to wherever it is that they are going. It's dusk outside, but the lights are on in the interior of the bus. You can hear Generic Rap Music coming from a guy's headphones near the front of the bus. A woman in the middle of the bus chatters on her cell phone. It is about 6:30pm CST.

GERM LADY: (looking at me):
"Do you want a Kleenex?"

ME: "No."

GERM LADY:
"Are you sure? I have a ton of them."

ME:
"I'm all set. Thanks."

GERM LADY turns around, but starts rifiling through her purse. I can't see what she's doing, but I secretly hope she's not reaching for some Kleenex.

ME:
:muffled coughs:

GERM LADY (yelling):
"It sounds like you have a CONTAGIOUS BRONCHIAL DISEASE! You sound TERRIBLE!"

ME (giving her the evil eye):
"Uh, thanks for pointing that out."

::Two minutes later::

ME:
*cough*

GERM LADY:
"ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT A KLEENEX?"

ME:
"NO!!!"

GERM LADY (a little less yell-y):
"I have cough drops. You want cough drops?"

ME:
:gives evil eye again and ignores her:

GERM LADY (to guy with headphones next to her):
"Doesn't that woman sound AWFUL?!?"

ME: :seethe:

End Scene.

What's the deal with that? Why can't people mind their own business? Yes, I sound horrible and feel horrible. Why must you, Crazy Germ Lady point that out to everyone on the #4 tonight? Was my coughing hurting you in any way at all? I was sitting so far behind her that my germs wouldn't have reached her even if I DIDN'T cover my mouth. Argh!

I hope she gets my DISEASE and I catch her coughing in a public space, just so I can yell YOU SOUND AWFUL, LADY!

3 comments:

Lucas said...

HB- Totally NOT a scene but yes, very annoying. You showed great restraint. As a person with severe "auditory hyper sensitivity" even I would not press beyond one "Would you like a tissue?" I don't ride the bus often but the times I have taken public transportation have taught me that an I-Pod or something akin to that will save my sanity everytime. I think personal listening devices should be manadetory for everyone who is even slightly bothered by the noises other humans make. Hope you feel better soon and in the future, are able to ride the bus in peace. Hang in there Bunny. You are probably living a much happier life than those other folks on the bus.

Julie Du. said...

Perhaps she shouldn't be using public transportation; I mean, she seems a little fearful of the PUBLIC.

(Sorry you're sick, HB. Me too :(

Michael said...

Damn Straight. Too bad you didn't have a germ ray to aim right at that woman.