An Open Letter to Sox Fans

dear boston red sox fans-

i love you people, i really do. but seriously, can you please clue me in on why you need to vandalize people's property after the games? and why do you have to take your frustration out on my fiance's bicycle?

when our beloved sox win, you like to throw trash, beer bottles, pizza boxes, etc in the street in my neighborhood. i mean, that just sucks, especially when there are trash bins on the corners that you can use. did your mom teach you these habits, or are you taking a class at NU on How to Make the Fens Look Like a Pit? please, don't mess up my neighborhood because you're too lazy to get rid of your trash.

and regardless of when they win or lose, you decide to take your anger/joy out on my fiance's bike. we live in a studio apartment where there is little room to begin with, let alone for his bike. there's no storage in the basement either, so the only thing he can do is park it out in front of our building. why do you feel the need to slash his tires over and over again? seriously, why do you do this? the sox have played, what, eight games at home so far? the season has just begun and you've already started! you think it's convenient or cheap for him to go and buy new tubes every time? he relies on his bike to get to and from work as well as running errands. last night at 11pm he wanted to go for a ride but he couldn't. why? because some drunk red sox fan slashed his tires...AGAIN!

why am i singling out sox fans? because we live two blocks from Fenway on a street that serves as a major thru-way to and from the games. on any game day, our street is packed with drunk assholes that feel like their night will not be complete without vandalizing something. so could you people PLEASE stop popping my fiance's tires and throwing your trash all over the place? oh, and our building is also not your toilet. so either hold it till you get home, like the big boys do, or pee somewhere else. we're really tired of it.

sincerely,
a sox fan who is begging members of "the nation" to grow up.