The Importance of "Good People"

Waiting for the Duck Boat
Originally uploaded by thehoneybunny.

it's really strange, but this foreign sad feeling is coming over me. i had so much fun between thursday and tuesday. probably the most fun i've had in years. now that it's all over, i'm really sad. i find myself missing everyone a lot. yes, even my family. the time went by so fast that i didn't have enough time to talk to everyone. i am sad because i didn't take enough pictures. i'm sad because i didn't get to say goodbye to many of my friends that i haven't seen in years. i'm sad because the party is over. i'm sure it's normal and everything, but it's still depressing.

i wasn't able to talk much with my brother, who made me cry when he said "i know we don't talk much, but i wanted to tell you i love you and that i'm very happy for you." i wish i could get him back here and hang out with him more. he said we're always welcome in san diego, so maybe i'll have to take him up on that. i didn't get much chance to talk to my friend karen who i haven't seen since high school. she had to leave early on sunday because her grandfather died. that made me incredibly sad as well. i didn't take as many pictures as i should have, and that makes me sad, too. i don't know if anyone took pictures of me with my grandparents or even with my mom. i can't remember. and my brother and sister didn't sign my guestbook. i'm sure they meant to, but were sidetracked. i think i'll send them both a page from the book, have them sign it, and then stick it back in.

i also realized how much the people who were there mean to me. yes, my family can be really icky and mean, but i love them dearly. i realized that i need to focus more on certain people and less on others. there were people there that p and i like to call "good people". you know... kind, generous, great company, loving, and just all around honest-to-goodness great people. and that made me so happy. we need to spend more time with the "good people" and less time with those who just pretend to be "good people". it's weird, but now i can see right through the ones i thought were "good". why did it take me so long to see this? and to me, that's a huge step in the right direction. i know this is kind of personal and more of a reflection, but it's really something i've been feeling strongly about since saturday night. i just don't want to waste any more time with negativity. life is too short.

i sincerely had the best night of my life and i will never forget it. there are just things i wish i'd done or said, you know? i'm a pretty sentimental person, so not having pictures to hold or cards to read through just gets me sad. it shouldn't, but it does. and that's something that i'm not willing to change about myself, because i don't think being sentimental is bad. i DO need to, however, need to let my attachment to "stuff" go. you know, the crap that can be replaced easily. that's not very healthy.

so, yeah....i'm sad, but not so depressed that i can't function. i just wish i could have fun like that every day and see those people every day. talk to people i've missed. be close with people who matter most.